Stepping Into the Scary Bookish World
I like to give names to things, especially if they're intimidating or difficult to work with. It makes it easier for me to approach the scary task or object, or reel in my “upsetments” and take a few deep breaths. This month, one of those scary things I decided to address was the ever-looming threat of college graduation. (I don the cap and gown exactly one month out from today.)
I determined that I needed to seek out new kinds of classrooms to continue my education in the Editing & Publishing world, and thus, Hannah the Baby Beta Reader was born.
Beta reading itself doesn't seem all that intimidating, but the larger concept of actively taking personal risks in trying to break into the notoriously-competitive publishing world certainly does. Several things are working against me and my dreams of happily swimming through hoards of books for the rest of my life:
1. I'm a highly sensitive person, and don't take criticism well. Trying to write a book, that will require at least two rounds of professional editing plus beta readers and ARCs. I'm going to get lots of critical (but very constructive) feedback.
2. I currently work professionally as a graphic designer and visual communications specialist, which means I get to spend a lot of time working with visual elements. It really does take a few mental gymnastics to switch to editing mode, and I want to be a great editor who provides valuable feedback. The perfectionist in me hesitates at the switching of tasks, always.
3. My husband does not like to move my books, therefore I currently do not have enough to swim in. He is an audiobook/ebook reader; I'm a hard-copy fanatic. I suppose, in a sense, our marriage could be viewed as the conclusion of a hilarious enemies-to-lovers plot.
4. I've never done a lot of the things that are done in the publishing world. There's a part of me that is ready for the challenge. And there's another part that continues to stand fearful in the face of the unknown.
It is for these reasons and many more that I decided to take a baby step in starting my Bookstagram account, and another baby step in applying to be a beta reader for the first time. Metaphorically breaking that shell. Trying to embrace all that waits out there for me.
Fear is only a crippling thing if we allow it to be. One of my weapons for fighting it is this idea of giving names to the scary things; the scary things then take shape as a character in my head.
I begin to see them from an objective perspective, someone I could reason with and start to understand better.
I begin to see their strengths and how they could surely best me, but also their weaknesses—ways in which I might best them. It's especially effective if I name them something ridiculous or assertive.
First time beta reading? I'll take a shot at it, and I'll name it Baby Beta Hannah. No pressure.
Trying to become a book writer in a world full of scary things? I'll take a shot at it, and I'll name it Author H. L. Ackerman, because the significance is not whether you make the bestsellers list, but whether you find the courage to embrace that name and make the attempt.
